All in our eyes

Life is so complicated; Job is very insecure; Health is not perfectly alright; Not earning enough to buy all that we want; Relatives do not help much; Everyday presents a new problem.

Would not these sentences suit most of our lives? But why is it so? What do you think? Its because we have not learnt to look at our so called problems from a different perspective. We do not know to differentiate between the ‘real’ worries & the ‘unwanted’ worries, that we can easily do without. When you get down to the root of many problems, you will understand that most of the sorrow arising out of them would have been self-imposed.

Long time back, I read a book about being positive (do not remember the name, but its not a famous one, say by Carnegie or Peale). The author would have stated that there are 2 types of problems – one which could be solved with persistent efforts by us & the other type just cannot be solved. The first kind of problem would raise concern with all & taking a little bit of pressure on yourself (only pressure, not worries) is perfectly alright in order to overcome them. For eg, if you lose a job or incur losses in business, you can always come out of it with determination & hard work. But the second kind of problem should not bother you much, as things are just not in your control & by no means can you solve them. For eg, if your car is drowned in a flood, you just cannot do anything, but just follow the procedure to try and reduce your losses. Absolutely no point in complaining about it & blaming the flood. It will only make you weaker & complicate things even further.

Personally speaking, complaining about anything for that matter is not my cup of tea. I take every experience as a lesson & I acquire great values out of them. Everything about life has a meaning & their true messages could be deciphered only at a later point, i.e, if you try. If we look at our problems from another perspective, most of them would appear to be silly. We get irritated about so many simple things in life & we take most of the happy moments for granted.

There is a fantastic dialogue from the movie “ Virumandi “ . Kamal hassan would say something to this effect “ சந்தோஷம்னா என்னங்கறது அத அனுபவிக்கும்போது யாருக்கும் தெரியறது இல்லை!".That is “A person doesn’t realize his happiness when he is actually undergoing it”. ( Roughly translated by a very poor translator). Doesn’t this summarise most of our lives?

I had actually written in one of my previous blog that ‘ Everyday is a gift’ & I would not mind mentioning it again & again. Its true that we cannot stop worrying about certain things in life, but what we can really do is to get over them asap. No sense in worrying about something that you do not have or something that is lost. The basic mistake everyone does here would be in making a comparison between people. “He has 2 houses”, “He lives in U.S “, “Her husband mints money “, “ He goes on a foreign trip quite often” etc etc. Too many comparisons & too many concerns. It’s a very basic human trait & eliminating it completely is just not possible, but atleast we can try to minimize it.

A classic example in my life for this would be my mother. She is a fantastic lady & I have inherited all my fighting spirits ONLY from her. But she still has not learnt the true meaning of happiness completely. She often complains that if I had been to U.S like my friends, I would also be having a lot of material possessions like them. Very true! But should not spending my life with parents under the same roof & taking care of them be considered million times better than living alone in a sophisticated country without them? Shouldn’t she be proud about her son trying to live life on his own terms & always attempting to fulfill his dreams unlike others? How many parents can have a gifted life of spending their old age with their children? Why do people not realize their happy moments & always worry about something that is not there & which may not even give them the same happiness as they think.

Iam definitely not blaming my mother as millions of others are living life that way only. Longing for something we don’t have & not giving importance to those finest things happening in our everyday life. Start cherishing your existing life & be grateful that you have got atleast this. Keep things simple in life & do not make it complicated with unwanted worries. As long as you & your dear ones are healthy, you have a career & going ahead in the right direction, don’t worry & stay happy. There is absolutely nothing you would achieve by fretting & worrying about things that are beyond you.

A lot of people would ask me the secret behind my positive attitude & happiness (despite my tough professional life). Its simple. I do not think about my worries for more than 5-10 minutes in a day. Everyday morning when I wake up, I tell myself that Iam very happy & am in the right track to success. While meditating, I only ask my mind to be peaceful & to radiate happiness thru’ out the day. Take my words – it does work to a large extent. I have had bad days & have lost my temper many times, but it helps to know that your mind could be gradually conditioned over a period of time.

So, be positive. Stay happy & spread happiness. Don’t compare. Keep things simple. Meditate. Most of your worries do not deserve to be called as ‘worries’. They are unwanted ones & unreal. Remember, its all in your eyes.! (Atlast, I justified the heading).